Retire To Oregon?

A sea of grey already inhabits many Oregon communities, the southern part of the state heavily leading the trend on a per capita basis. Senior drivers are a prominent feature on the crowded streets, often seen drifting from lane to lane... seemingly oblivious to their surroundings. One wonders why drunk driving is so fervently prosecuted while senile driving is not. Dangerous drivers should be sidelined, period.

DALLAS — As his 90-year-old neighbor struggled last May to set out on a morning drive to the store, David Prager began to worry.

Elizabeth Grimes, a widow who had lived on Meaders Lane for 50 years, had backed out of her driveway, across her lawn and off the curb. Her 1994 Mercury Grand Marquis then hit the curb across the street, Prager recalls, before Grimes mistook the gas pedal for the brake and "took off with a jackrabbit start."

Six blocks away, Grimes drove through a red light. The car slammed into Katie Bolka, a 17-year-old high school junior who was driving to school to take an algebra test. Five days later, Bolka died.

It seems like such an ideal situation.... spending your "golden years" in a picturesque, quiet, slow-paced place like Oregon. Problem is, Oregon has for years been heavily deluged by a steady flow of California refugees... and is no longer quiet and slow-paced. As for "picturesque", development has been erasing that attribute. Soaring real estate prices and their corresponding property tax rates are grinding down fiercely on all residents.

Sadly, after moving to Oregon, many seniors find themselves being screwed by unscrupulous RV dealers. Buying into the "freedom of the open road" sales line, grandpa becomes convinced that yes, even though he has never navigated anything larger than a Buick- he can indeed handle the demands of a 40-foot house on wheels.

Funeral directors are rubbing their hands together in anticipation of your future business... deny them this windfall!

SANTA MONICA, California (CNN) -- An 86-year-old man who drove his mid-size Buick through a crowded farmers' market Wednesday told police he couldn't stop and may have hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Santa Monica Police Chief James T. Butts Jr. said.

Nine people were killed, including a 3-year-old girl, authorities said. The more than 54 hurt include 14 people with critical injuries, they said. Two of those critically injured are under the age of 2.

Oftentimes, following an initial trip to the coast- a harrowing experience for the driver, passenger and, particularly others on the road, the monstrous vehicle occupies a space in the driveway... to begin a long period of dormancy.

Strapped for cash due to unnecessary "toy" purchases, many seniors find themselves peddling their dentures, ostomy bags, prosthesis, Perry Como albums, and unused medications.

Many Oregon seniors harbor contempt, if not overt hostility. Some blame it on the Cailfornia influence, as it appears that 98% of retirees in the Rogue Valley are former "Golden Staters". Others assume that they're simply pissed about growing old. Restaurant workers constantly complain that seniors are the worst tippers of all, despite the fact that they may have driven up in a brand new 'Caddy.

In Southern Oregon, it's also never difficult to find judgmental, self-righteous "church ladies". Whether they're busy picketing the local Planned Parenthood office... or writing warped, semi-literate, venemous letters to the local newspaper... you can always count on their meddling in other peoples' business.

Since the Rogue Valley has become a de facto "retirement community", the really big winners are, ultimately, retirement homes and funeral homes. For these industries, business is good... and with the continual onslaught of old Californians infecting the area, it won't be slowing down anytime soon. Stop the supply chain!!!